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EDWARD D. WOOD, JR. — QB
Joe Namath fans who miss seeing "Broadway" Joe sitting on the sidelines in a fur coat may enjoy watching Edward bark commands to his offensive line wearing a pink angora sweater. The prototypical pretty boy quarterback.

BOB BURNS — RB
Watch this B-movie curator burn up the field this season as he "collects" touchdowns for B-movie fans everywhere!

VINCENT PRICE— WR
This sticky-fingered wideout is creating quite a buzz. He'll have opposing defenses screaming, "Help meeeee! Help meeeee!"

BEN CHAPMAN — WR
Wideout Ben "Gill Man" Chapman catches footballs like he's got webbed fingers! Great hands and speed, Chapman only needs to work on his endurance as defenses sometimes leave him gasping for air.

YVETTE VICKERS — TE
Who says ladies can't play football? This lovely little dynamo has the speed to baffle linebackers and grip the ball like a Giant Leech!

TOR JOHNSON — DT
Opposing offensive linemen would rather sit through a Bride of the Monster movie marathon than be flattened by this 400 lb. ex-wrestler. If his gargantuan rump really could shatter hotel toilet seats as they claim, imagine what he'll do to a quarterback's head!

RICHARD KIEL — DE
Hey quarterbacks, is that the Jaws theme you hear? "Da-DUM!....Da-DUM, Da-DUM, DaDUM!" It must be old metal mouth himself from the James Bond movies! QBs had better bring a lamp to shove into his mouth! This towering, near Hulk of a man will have quarterbacks yelling, "Eegah!!!"

LON CHANEY, JR. — MLB
This linebacker and part-time 'gator hater, will have you hooked the first time he attacks a running back like an alligator man! He also lifts weights to Duran Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf!

CLAUDE RAINS — CB
This defensive back shadows even the best wide receivers like he was the Invisible Man! He seems to appear out of nowhere to make the interception.

JOHN AGAR — SS
This no-nonsense, tough as nails leading man could play only one position on this team -- strong safety. You want this guy as your defense's last stop as he buries running backs like they were Mole People!