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Head Spa Massager Simply attach this attractive, uncumbersome appliance to your cranium and get the sensation of tiny fingers massaging your frontal lobes and base of your skull. The SkyMall catalogue reads, "Use it at your desk at work." Absolutely! Just look at the picture at left and see how easily the Head Spa Massager blends into any office environment.
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Portable Laptop Desk Finally, someone gets it! Someone finally understands that we simply don't get enough technology in our average day and we need to carry it over into our downtime. This is the 21st century, people! There's no excuse to not have your fantasy team's roster updated, miss the latest video of a teenager losing his front teeth in a hilarious skateboard accident or ignore "Friend Invitations" on Facebook sent by your young children. And there's certainly no need to get into your pajamas at bedtime (You're just going to get up for work the next day anyway!) And as for showers? Who needs them. That's why they gave you that cubicle at work. To contain the stink. |
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Skyrest Travel Pillow Having recently flown sitting in those tiny seats, I can confirm that you have about 2 cubic feet of space above your lap. And what better use of that space, especially on planes that are usually stiflingly hot, than a giant, inflatable rubber pillow. Plus there are added benefits. For example, when the people around you constantly shift in their seats, you'll get the sensation of being adrift on a raft! What's a little more motion sickness? -- you're already on a plane! And conveniently, by the time you inflate Travel Pillow with your mouth, you'll have something to pass out on. |
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Powerlung Ever wonder why you're not able to play basketball with the guys or go on long hikes with your kids? I bet you blamed it on not excercising and eating crap, right? Now you know it's because you simply don't breathe hard enough. Thanks to this hundred-dollar apparatus, you'll soon be breathing your way into the Boston Marathon! But don't think you can just practice breathing on your own because it's too dangerous. That would be like lifting a barbell with weights on just one side. No, you need the Powerlung to do it properly. I mean, what else can you do -- breathe in and out? You're going to look pretty crazy breathing in and out. |
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Aquabells Travel Weights And speaking of exercise equipment, here's another great idea that went right past me as I wasted time going to work and starting a family: a weight set that you fill with water! How many times have I taken long trips to visit friends or family only to discover they didn't have a weight set waiting for me when I arrived? Talk about rude! And what if I'm staying at a hotel — use the nautilis?! As an added bonus, if you're interested in science, here's a project you can try: When you're done working out, empty the water from the weights and closely monitor the deadly strain of mildew that will grow inside the plastic. But if that gets a little boring, simply fold up the weights and put them back in your suitcase next to your toothbrush. |
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HG400 Heads Up Display This is a device that displays directly on your windshield but hold on...I'm texting this review as I drive...whoa!...almost went off the road...wait...my buddy just texted me a joke...OMG THAT IS SO FUNNY!...hold on - gotta answer him...DID U C DA GAME LAS NITE? IT WAS AWSUM...HOLD ON...I'M RITING REVU...Ok, sorry about that... whoa! Just missed that guy!...Anyway...I can totally see where the Heads Up Display would save a lot of lives. Many's the time I would quickly glance down at the speedometer for a fraction of a second only to look back up and discover I was heading for the edge of a cliff! It's so much better I have this large display in my line of vision! Now, if they can just fill the entire windshield by adding the rest of the indicators. And what's with these clear side windows? Wasted space, car manufacturers! |
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Configurable Pet Gate For a second, SkyMall, you almost had me going. I was thinking, "Who needs this contraption?" But that's not how you operate. You encourage us to think for ourselves! That's when it occurred to me: This isn't a mere restraining device -- this is an ingenious invention to teach puppies the "speak" command! If it comes with instructions, I'm sure they would read like this:
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Portable Microwave Oven (with car DC outlet) Boy, does this item bring back memories! When I was a kid, my parents would take us camping and we'd take along this little baby! We have tons of great photos. My dad would build a fire and we'd roast hot dogs and ... wait a minute...that's not it. They didn't even have microwaves back then. Oh, I remember now! It was later when I'd go camping with my buddies' family in their RV. We'd watch movies and microwave popcorn...no, that's not right either. They had a regular, $79 microwave. Tailgate party? Nah. Grilled delicious ribs with propane. Oh well, I'll think of it. |
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Travelite Luggage Scale SkyMall, you clever bastards, you've done it again! Just the other day, I needed to move a very heavy suitcase. I didn't open it but it felt like it contained four, fully-grown wet sheep. I wasn't sure without a built in scale, but it SEEMED very heavy. When I picked it up, I felt intense pain in my lower back. Thinking my mind was playing tricks on me, I tried again. This time, I felt the muscles in my back begin to separate. On the third try, I felt my Serratus Anterior tear away from my rib cage. Still not convinced, I pulled until I felt my Rhomboideus Minor say "Tootle-oo" to my spinal cord. It could have all been avoided if I knew exactly how much it weighed. |
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Travel Vest I am seriously going to consider buying one of these! I love all the handy, secret compartments. Actually, you know where it really would've come in handy? The airport. I mean, you spend so much time taking off your shoes, taking off anything that's metal...wouldn't airport security appreciate saving everyone time by having all your small, electronic devices in a secretly-lined clothing? In fact, when I get one of these, I'll save them even more time by wearing this vest and then RUNNING through the metal detector as fast as I can! I bet they appreciate anything that keeps the line moving. |
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Body Figure Enhancing Pads Body Figure Enhancing Pads is a much better name than, say, Adhesive Rubber Butt Cheeks. Imagine this romantic scene, ladies: The special guy you've had your eye on finally asks you out. You're having a romantic dinner for two at your place. Your engaging conversation indicates that he could be the one. And when things start to get intimate, you move over to the bedroom. As he takes off his shoes, he suddenly whirls around, startled at the sound he can only describe as someone ripping off a length of duct tape. And there you are in the candlelight, peeling off your own ass. (Miss Manners tip: In the throes of passion, it's considered tacky to rip off the pads and throw them at the wall where they may stick like suction cups.)
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