Agar anxious for rematch with 'oldest rivals'

Cincinnati Bengals running back Ickey Woods irritated opposing players (and countless millions) in 1988 by performing "The Ickey Shuffle." But that's nothing compared to how Monsters safety John Agar feels about the hated Rams.

YUCCA FLATS (AP) — The longest consecutive game rivalry in NFL history (at least one game played in each season) is between the Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears. It dates back to 1922 and is currently approaching over 170 games, with 48 Hall of Famers inducted and 23 league championships between the two teams.

But the Atomic Monsters, who are enjoying their inaugural season, have no storied past. In fact, they will play their very first rematch in week 15 against the St. Louis Rams.

"I hate those guys!" said safety John Agar about their opponents from the Gateway to the West, "They're our oldest rivals!"

Attempting to explain his feelings about rivalries, Agar said, "My dad was from Green Bay, so he hated the Chicago Bears. Over the years, he had to endure the Monsters of the Midway, Refrigerator Perry, Walter "Sweetness" Wayton, the Steel Curtain, the Purple People Eaters..." said Agar, mixing up legendary football franchises, "But none of that compares to how I feel about my oldest rival, the Rams. Nothing will let me forget what happened the last time we played. I'll never forget it -- I got burned for a touchdown by Torry Holt and, in the endzone, do you know what he did? He made the "number 1" sign with finger! Right in front of me! As if to say "We're number 1 and you're not! Do you believe that malarkey?" said Agar in his 1950's way of talking, "Man, it still makes me sore! Even after all these years," said Agar 77 days after the incident. "Now I know exactly how my old man felt! Exactly!"

"It's like, everywhere I go, I see books, TV shows and movies about the Rams," Agar told reporters who were trying to leave, "They think they're hot shots because they had Deacon Jones...and uh...Eric Dickerson...", said Agar struggling to conjur up a storied Rams past, "Oh! And that one Super Bowl they won! And the other one they almost won in the 70s and then they lost another in 2001! I mean, it really gets me riled!" yelled Agar in the parking lot to reporters starting their cars to go home.

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