Lone ticketholder waits for fellow homers

"...doing the wave is pretty boring. It's pretty much just me standing up, then sitting down for a few minutes, then standing up again.”

YUCCA FLATS (AP) — Barry Knoppschneider, the Atomic Monsters' first self-proclaimed homer, attended the team's debut at American-International Stadium on Sunday. A Monsters fan for nearly two weeks, Knoppschneider felt his life's ambition was fulfilled when he heard an NFL franchise would be located in Yucca Flats, Nevada, just 9 hours and 53 minutes away from his hometown of Chubbuck, Idaho. When the 1 p.m. game ends, Knoppschneider will have just enough time to race the 574 miles back home to work his eleven to seven shift at Lowe's.

But Knoppschneider also finds benefits along with the drawbacks. "There's no line for the restrooms, so that's pretty good," reflects Barry. “But doing the wave is pretty boring. It's pretty much just me standing up, then sitting down for a few minutes, then standing up again.”

Luring fans to a stadium located in the Yucca Flats desert has proven to be a monumental task. One obstacle is the arduous drive through scorching desert heat. Another is risking the sand's high radioactivity levels contaminated by years of government atomic testing. "The radiation won't hurt Barry," assures Monsters head coach Brain-o. "It's only science-fiction radiation. The worst that could happen is he might turn into a 50-foot talking mushroom or something."

You might think, as the team's only paying fan, he would garner some special treatment but that's not always the case. “It's not much fun yelling all by myself," explains the typically shy Knoppschneider. "Like this one time, our defense muffed a play and I yelled, “You guys suck!” And our defensive end Richard Kiel yelled back, 'If you don't shut your pie hole, Barry, I'm gonna climb up there and shut it for you.' So I didn't say anything else the rest of the game.”

Generally, the employees at American-International Stadium are glad to see Barry, including concession stand worker Gomez Enrico. "Barry's a nice guy," said Enrico, "But this one time he wanted to buy a hot dog and I'm like, Barry, if I cook you a hot dog, I'm gonna have to clean this grill. I'm not cleaning this grill just for you. I'm sorry, man, I can't make you no hot dog."

Yet despite all the obstacles, he remains a stalwart Atomic Monsters homer. "I'm glad to support the team," said Barry. "But now that I see that I'm the only one here, I kind of wish I hadn't paid $650 for a season ticket." Later, Knoppschneider's bad fortunes were compounded. While attempting to wander down to the first row for a closer view, a security guard read his ticket and made him return to his seat.