Invisible Invaders

Invisible Invaders (1959)
Starring John Agar, Jean Byron, Philip Tongue, Robert Hutton, John Carradine, Hal Torey. Produced by Robert E. Kent, Directed by Edward L. Cahn

"They are out there! Invisible Invaders are out to get us! Sure it's fun to watch a 1950s b-movie and laugh at people afraid of the unknown. It was funny until I found myself besieged by my own invisible invader! Let me take you back in time: Three days ago, my wife discovered a cocoa packet that had been gnawed open. We were advised to call in a "wildlife specialist" who informed us the culprit was of the chipmunk persuasion and we should set a trap. Different people told us chipmunks are too smart for traps. Different people were right! Three days later and still the trap is unsprung. Our invisible invader is somewhere right now watching...waiting...

Invisible Invaders, a movie about the animated dead, arrived in theatres in 1959 before Night of the Living Dead (1968), Last Man on Earth (1962) or Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959).

As the movie begins, the narrator tells us that in the race for nuclear supremacy, scientists like Dr. Karol Noymann (John Carradine) are sometimes driven to exhaustion and, by merely holding a test tube, can create an atomic explosion! ( I had no idea just holding a test tube was so dangerous!) In any event, this particular atomic explosion occurs in Washington D.C., and according to all the newspapers, only Dr. Noymann is killed!

The narrator tells us the explosion became an "intense discussion" by high-ranking officials! -- then they show two guys at a desk calmly talking. It's a discussion between Gen. Stone and the commission's "top man,” Dr. Adam Penner. The atomic explosion has convinced Penner to abandon dangerous atomic research and retire. Penner flies home to join his daughter, Phyllis, and his young science sidekick Dr. John. The three attend Karol Noymann's grave site. Here we get a glimpse of the monstrous legs of a partially-visible alien invader. But make no mistake, once these aliens make themselves invisible, they are absolutely undetectable! Unless of course you notice their heaving breathing (like a lion snoring) or the mounds of soil moving around. That's because the highly-advanced aliens drag their feet as they walk. They also tend to draw a lot of attention crashing through bushes rather than simply walking around them.

The next scene shows a hand slowly knocking on Penner's door, waking him up. Who could it be? It couldn't be Karol, after all his body was blown to dust in an atomic explosion so it couldn't be…HOLY COW! WHAT DO YOU KNOW? When Penner opens the door, it's none other than the deceased Karol Noymann! He explains that he is an alien inhabiting Noymann's body. You can tell he's from outer space because he talks slowly like this: “I…am…from…outer...space…” A dead giveaway! He explains that unless Earth surrenders to the invaders within 24 hours, they will begin an invasion from their base located on the moon. He explains that 20,000 years ago, they landed on our moon, destroyed all life there (you killed all our cool moon wildlife?? Thanks a lot!) and now use the it as a base for their spaceships. So let's recap: after arriving on our moon, it took 20,000 years to attack a planet just 240,000 miles away? Nothing like striking while the iron's hot!

The invaders plan to inhabit the dead, then the dead will kill the living. He gives Penner one simple assignment: Convince the human race to give up their nuclear weapons. The invader gives Penner a demonstration of their power by making an object in his hand invisible adding, “On our planet, we've made everything invisible.” EVERTHING'S INVISIBLE?! No wonder it took them 20,000 years! It must be hard to plan universal domination when you're bumping into things!

Dr. John and Phyllis return to talk to her father. Dr. John says, “You know you probably just had a nightmare, right?” Penner says “the body of Karol was in this very room – I'm not insane!” Phyllis lowers her head with shame, “Oh, Dad.” But it turns out Penner's NOT so crazy because he somehow talks Dr. John into going to Washington to spread the invaders' message for him! John's understandably hesitant, but Penner pleas, “You must go!” and then Phyllis chimes in, “Yes! PLEASE, John!” ("Please John?" A MINUTE AGO YOU THOUGHT YOUR DAD WAS CRAZY! AND I NOTICE YOU'RE NOT GOING WITH HIM TO WASHINGTON!) It turns out Dr. John owes Penner for starting his career. Therefore, it only makes sense he should go to Washington and ruin it. What are friends for?

As it turns out, not only didn't Washington believe Dr. John, but it apparently blabbed his message to every newspaper in the world! (After their meeting with John, did generals run to the phone and call newspaper editors?) Meanwhile, Penner is losing hope. He stares at the night sky and mutters a little prayer. I like to call it: “Prayer to St. Karol, patron saint of invisible invaders.” (Read prayer at right.) Penner decides the only way to convince Dr. John and Phyllis he's not crazy is to take them to the cemetery in the middle of the night.

At Noymann's grave, Penner pleads for the aliens to show themselves until the feet-dragging aliens arrive (I'm beginning to understand why it took these guys 20,000 years to get here.) With 24 hours elapsed, Pennter pleads for more time to complete the mission. The alien graciously agrees to give Earth one more warning. The narrator explains the first warning came as a fatal plane crash in Syracuse, NY. First of all, what better way to get the attention of the entire world than to crash a plane in Syracuse, NY. Plus, everybody knows a plane crash can only mean one thing …ALIEN INVASION! By the way, after a fiery plane crash, the pilot has only a little cut on his forehead! (These animated dead bodies survive everything -- atom blasts, plane crashes -- these corpses are tough!) The pilot's dead body staggers to a local sports arena (how long could THAT have taken?) and the warning meant for all the nations on Earth to hear is given at a hockey game over a loudspeaker to some half-soused Americans. (Again, they had 20,000 years to plan this!)

The narrator says, the second warning came from California (SECOND warning? The alien said only ONE more warning!) A car runs off the road into an electric transformer. The driver is killed and his body is inhabited and walked very slowly to another sports arena where he speaks to a slightly larger audience. (How about walking to a TELEVISION STATION! What's next -- a monster truck rally?!) Soon the nations of the world answer the aliens with a resounding “Forget you!” This enrages the invaders and they inhabit all of Earth's dead. As you'll see in this video clip, the dead drive eighteen-wheelers into dams and blow up Finland. Man, way to hurt us where we live! Finland's gone!!!

Meanwhile, the U.S. government (feeling like they have a little egg on their face) assigns Penner to oversee an operation where top scientists toil safely in underground bunkers until a weapon can be found to stop the invaders. The government has assigned Maj. Jay (John Agar) to escort Dr. Penner, Phyllis and Dr. John to one such bunker. There, they communicate with General Stone in Washington. We know he's in Washington because there's a big map of the U.S. behind him.) The bunker is equipped with an exterior Geiger Counter that's picking up radiation that comes and goes in waves. They decide to view the surround area via a special closed circuit TV which shows dozens of zombies walking around oblivious to the bunker. Maj. Jay tells the scientists, “Everything you need is in this bunker. If it's not here, it doesn't exist.” (Man, someone supplied that bunker in a hurry! 24 hours ago, no one even knew about the alien invasion, and now the bunker is equipped with everything that exists!)

General Stone passes on this discovery: the alien weapons won't work in our atmosphere! (they had 20,000 years!) This leads them to conclude there are weaknesses in their spaceships and even their bodies which is why they need to inhabit the bodies of the dead to take over the world.

I guarantee you will never find a scene like this in any current movie. It's classic 1950s.

Play: "Can I make you some coffee?"

Penner says he needs to bring one of the invisible creatures into the bunker for study. They convert a fire extinguisher to shoot an acrylic spray that forms an instant hardened shell on contact. This is easily done since the bunker contains “everything that exists.” Maj. Jay volunteers to take their new weapon outside to bag an alien. Phyllis says, “There's a lot of radiation out there…be careful.” Jay replies, “It's OK…this suit's tough.” He then leaves the bunker in the thinnest, baggiest suit you could imagine.


	You can almost hear the director say, "Turn to your right as if you're going to leave, then turn back again to your left!" Play: "Synchro head turn"

The suit works but the plan to spray a zombie into an acrylic statue ultimately fails. (Nice try though -- good plan! No wait, it was a terrible plan!) Maj. Jay goes out again, this time with Dr. John. Having only one radiation suit (Ah! So the bunker has only ONE of everything that exists!), John will wait in the cab of the pickup truck because, according to Maj. Jay, THE CAB OF THE PICKUP WILL PROTECT HIM FROM THE RADIATION! Dr. John asks, “You intend to use yourself as bait?” Maj. Jay

responds, “Do you know a better way to go fishing?” “No I don't,” respondes John. (How about spear? How about a net?) Maj. Jay reminds John, “Stay in the truck, you're protected from radiation in here.” And then he OPENS THE DOOR, EXPOSING HIM TO RADIATION ANYWAY! Why didn't they just drive a convertible?

An invisible invader is eventually lured to an acrylic-filled bear pit and he falls in, turning into a statue. Note to self: Highly-evolved aliens are easily duped into bear pits. They drag the alien back to the bunker. Penner follows the action using a closed circuit TV that not only uses multiple camera angles but also follows the truck down the road! Unfortunately, the aliens have followed them back to the bunker. Inside, Penner, Maj. John, Phyllis and Dr. John place the acrylic-encased alien into a pressure chamber, turn up the pressure and the encasing cracks, freeing the alien as planned. The invisible alien sits down in a leather chair and talks into a microphone (Are desks and microphones often pressure-tested?) The invisible invader warns them of their demise. Tough talk from a guy who fell into a bear pit!

They work diligently to make the invader visible. The narrator informs us it's now day 3 and by midnight all life on earth will cease to exist! WOW! THAT'S PRETTY BAD! The pressure builds until Maj. Jay and Dr. John end up in the obligatory fist fight.

A scientist gets into a fistfight with a soldier--and the scientist kicks butt!

Play: "Flying fists of physics"

Dr. John throws a beaker at Jay and misses, striking the computers. The explosion sets off alarm bells which cause the invader excruciating pain. Using this information, they invent a "sound gun." According to the giant Bolova clock on the wall, it takes them just under 40 minutes! Penner sticks the gun through a convenient hole in the door of the champer and shoots the alien. The high-pitched sound waves force the alien to become visible and we see him leave the dead host and then collapse into sudsy bubbles. But just as Maj. Jay tries to relay this vital information to Washington, the aliens jam the frequency. There must be a spaceship nearby. Maj. Jay quickly slips some suspicious science past us: “If we can track their spaceship with the radio in the truck (???), then we can use the sound gun to destroy the spaceship!" As Maj. Jay and Penner gear up, Penner adds, “Don't miss with the sound gun – it's the only chance you have against the radiation.” WHAT? OK, NOW THIS MOVIE'S THROWING SCIENCE RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW!

Zombies try to smash into the bunker, but it sounds like popcorn popping.

Play: "Jiffypop attack"

So the four of them go tooling around in a station wagon equipped with a spinning radar antennae on the roof. Maj. Jay lays next to it in his baggy radiation suit holding the sound gun. Maj. Jay takes out a few walking corpses before one of them pulls a gun and wings him. He manages to shoot the spaceship, blowing it to pieces. With the ship destroyed, Penner can now communicate with Washington. Soon, instructions on how to defeat the enemy are relayed around the world. Imagine -- your trapped in your house by invisible invaders. You've been waiting for help to arrive. Finally, the instructions you've been waiting for come from Washington: Build yourself a sound gun! The End!

Chipmunk Epilogue: It's late at night and still no sign of the invisible invader. All I can do is lay awake, listening for the rustle of tiny toenails inside plaster walls. Waiting for something to come crashing through like a giant Killer Shrew! Sure, laughing at invisible invaders is fun...until it happens to you!